Self Portrait – 2015, June

I’m not sure what happened to my love of drawing people, but I primarily use this skill to help conceive my landscape paintings. Some of my students tell me they like the portraits better – but I am not as social as I should be to render people – and so I call on the mountains. If I had more artist friends, perhaps I would paint them?

I like when someone tells me the work I am doing is ‘done’. I enjoy giving myself over to criticism and understanding I am not the artist if I listen to people who cannot paint – I am the worker working for their pleasure, stopping when their vision is congealed. 

Another thing I love is when someone gets on the train, while I’m typing – and talks lousy and annoyingly about nonsense – and smiles when distracted passengers look her way, out of a selfish narcissistic urge to repel the others space and thought pattern.

The person is talking about the police academy and becoming a cop. Her daughter is glaring at me sad.

I’m not interested in others patterns of self interest – I have my own to contend with.